where have all the good naps gone?

When baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

The last few weeks, Zee's nap-times have been a little wonky. One day, he'll sleep for 2 or 3 hours, but the next, he refuses to sleep at all, or decides to nap at 3 or 4 o'clock in the afternoon, making bedtime a bit of a challenge. We all know the consequences of the dreaded late-nap.

I'm typically a little easier on schedules than many other parents seem to be, in that I never put Zane on a Mom-imposed schedule, but rather let him develop one of his own, from birth.

That meant taking cues from him to know when it was time to get up in the morning, eat, nap during the day, and ultimately, sleep at night. I am relatively lucky, in that he always gave easily discernible signals for me (and, yes, I'm notably obtuse) to follow. Also that co-sleeping has worked well for us, in so much as it allows me to nurse him and doze without too much ruckus until such time as he REALLY wants to get up for the day.

Don't get me wrong... In the beginning, I thought I would surely die before I ever saw the light of day, again. I was certain that this very demanding baby would keep me permanently chained to the couch cushions and ultimately, be the death of me. And there are some nights (all night nurse-fests and 3 AM wake ups) when I'm still kicking myself for not CIO and getting my own night-time routine back, but luckily, they are few and far between. I'm generally pretty happy with this particular choice.

But, lately... His naps are getting all weird on me and I'm not quite sure what else I can do about it. I've started to lay some ground rules, and it is the closest I've come to a schedule, in his life, but I need to do something. The late naps are absolutely OUT OF THE QUESTION!!!!!!!!!! If he naps past 3 PM, he inevitably stays up hours and hours past his usual bedtime and still gets up at the crack of dawn.

If he goes without his nap entirely, he starts getting droopy around 5 PM and wants to go to bed. Which is again, out of the question, because that means he wakes up around 1 or 2 AM, wanting to play. If you want to see the WORST parenting on the planet, come visit us on one of those nights... So, I attempt to keep him awake, while he whines and does his best, angry narcoleptic impression for the remaining 2 hours, alternating between drooling and nodding into his dinner bowl or throwing most of his meal at the cat.

Call it denial, but I refuse to believe that he is phasing out his afternoon nap. That's just a possibility that I refuse to accept, right now. I SAID, I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT! So there.

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Updates on my situation, for anyone who doesn't already know:

My father's family did have a memorial service for my aunt. I was glad I went.

My grandmother's husband is currently living in a nursing care facility and is receiving all of his occupational and physical therapy and seems to be doing a bit better, as far as his immediate condition is concerned.

My doctor refused to write me a prescription for anti-depressants because she doesn't believe it is appropriate for me to still be nursing an 18 month old boy. She told me she'd be happy to prescribe anything I'd like, as soon as I stop breastfeeding, and that I have to wean him right away. She explained that it is not only "inappropriate at this age, but also insufficient nutrition" and I should get to work, "show[ing] my son who's boss" and "stop letting a toddler control [me]".

She is full of shit and should consider reading a little something from the AAP or LLL before dispensing with the breastfeeding advice. I have the best luck with doctors... I tell ya, boy.