you have GOT to be kidding me!!!!!

Let me just get my apologies out of the way, first. I'm sorry I've been pretty much MIA here, in blog-town. But, I have a good reason. Zane hasn't slept well in a short while, therefore, neither have I. I haven't had a lot of time to post or read because he's been a little... shall we say... moody.

for those of you who don't know, Zane can't have milk, cheese, or any other food that has cow's milk casein in it. It gives him eczema, a bright red butt, and truly disturbing behavioral changes. I REALLY screwed up, and accidentally gave him something with casein in it when he was about 8 months old, and it was painfully obvious that he was one of those kids who shouldn't have it.

About a week ago, he ate something that his dad had fed him, with traces of butter in it. He didn't poop for 2 days, and when that poo finally came, he cried and screamed bloody murder. He didn't sleep well for 3 days, and he got a little eczema patch on his arm. Oh, and his bum-bum turned the most lovely shade of crimson.

A few days ago, I bit the bullet and gave him a bit of sheep's milk cheese, because he wanted it so badly, and I'm aware that many people who are unable to eat/drink cow's milk are able to have sheep's milk. Can you say, "Bad Mommy!" How about , "Dumbass!"

This was a huge mistake. If possible, Zane seemed even more sensitive to the goat's milk cheese than he was to the soy cheese with casein in it. Oh, he loved it... and I mean LOVED IT! but, it didn't love him back. He then got several volcanic pimples IN HIS HAIR and on his face, as well as another eczema patch on his leg. He didn't sleep for another 3 days. Oh, and his butt? yeah, it turned splotchy pink, this time.

Today, (which I was hoping would be our first day of any appreciable sleep time) we were in the bookstore, while Zane socialized with a sweet little boy he often sees at story time, with his grandma. Zee was eating his salt-free rice cakes (which I hate because they taste like cardboard but he LOVES) and the other little guy was eating some things that his grandma was giving him.

Guess what happened next... No, really... Guess! Grandma sticks a peanut butter & cheese cracker directly into Zee's mouth. No need to ask me if it's ok, first. Just stuck it right in there. What does the little oink do? He devours it.

Suuuuuuuure... Any time mommy tries to stick a piece of food (lovingly prepared food, I might add) in that mouth, it gets spit right back out in her face. But a stranger can stick a PEANUT BUTTER AND CHEESE cracker in his mouth, any time, and he'll be glad to eat it.

I was so stunned that I didn't even react. I couldn't react. by the time I realized what had happened, it was half way to his stomach already.

Who does that? No, really... WHO? DOES? THAT?!?!?!? I would never give someone else's kid food without asking their parent first. Not ever. I had half a mind to tell her she could come over and take care of him for the next three days, while he tortures us all with his wailing and cheese farts and TERRIBLE, CHEESE TEMPER and inability to nap or sleep at night. But, I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't.

Zane even has a special cheese-scream. It's of a higher pitch than his usual, whiney howl. And loud, LOUD, L O U D!!! The kind of cheese-curdling (pun intended) screech that not only pierces my eardrums, but seems to do quite a number on his own, as well. He actually holds his ears while he screams the cheese-scream. It's fun for the whole family. And I do believe the neighbors love it, too.

So, just what am I doing, right now? I'm sitting here, typing, while Duane is on baby duty. Just for an hour, so mommy can get a grip. It feels rather nice to let someone else handle it for a while... Even if it is reluctantly.

My hour is almost up.
I'm going in.
Cover me.